dreams.

not the aspiring kinds. not the ones you have when your a kid, to grow up and swim with mermaids and ride on white unicorns with rainbow tails.
not even the kinds you have when you're sleeping. when your subconscious and the toast and hot chocolate you had before bed make you believe, for a second, that you're family moved across town and your new neighbors are made of chocolate.
i guess i'm not really talking about dreams. i guess i'm taking about nightmares. of which i have been having a lot of lately. i don't know what it is about boise, but it's freaking me out.

wednesday, october 1- carrie speed, ashley dudley, karly zobrist, and other hawaii friends. here in boise. driving down one of the little streets on our way home from downtown/ the chiropractic office. one of those streets where there is only cute, cottagey houses and a million trees. the road has 2 lanes. i spaced out while driving, and swerved into a car driving beside me. when i hit it, i thought it just took off my mirror and made a scrape on the little black volkswagon golf (my dream car. literally i guess.) fixable, i thought. but then i looked over, and there was a decapitated female hanging out the driver side window. it was gore. blood and guts. her head was almost completely detached from her neck. blood everywhere. her arms looked like all her bones where shattered. bent every which way. and a man in the passenger seat, just sitting there, looking at her. i stared at the woman... cars on autopilot...

and then i woke up.